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FAILURE as defined by Colleen Fisher

Colleen Fisher on the value of failureI fear failure. There, I said it. It is a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because when I make up my mind to do something, it is all out effort and determination. Nothing gets in my way as the tunnel vision has begun. A curse because it holds me back. I am afraid of failure. As I get ready to turn 60, I am amazed that I am starting to loosen up a bit. I can do things and instead of having anxiety about everything being perfect, I can laugh at myself and move on. I have also reflected on all the things I have missed out on because of my fear of failing at it. Not trying something new, not putting myself in a vulnerable position, being afraid of looking stupid and the big one….. Not being the BEST in whatever so, therefore, just choosing to not even try! I realized I am on an amazing journey of self-discovery. Who I am is constantly evolving and changing. It’s like going up and down hills. Some parts are easier than other parts, but I keep walking, searching, exploring. I have learned that life is too short to not experience new things. I don’t want to always be the same throughout my life and not have a new memory or adventure to reflect on. This is how we grow not just on the outside, but from within. Our bodies, brain, and souls need growth and stimulation otherwise, we shrivel and die. Five years ago I lost my Mom and best friend. I have had to figure out who I am without her and her guidance in my life. For some time, I tried to be what I thought Mom would be or do but realized that I am different and yet the same. I want to do things that my Mom would never do and I need to be ready to be great at it or not. Getting over the fear of failure is not an easy one for me. So I am on my way.